How to Find Your Purpose
“Things that excite you are not random. They are connected to your purpose. Follow them.”
Unknown
For many of us, we go our whole life not knowing what our purpose is, how crazy is that?! We know what society wants us to do which looks something like this – work, get married, have kids, keep working to make money for the family, retire, etc.
We move from dead-end jobs to dead-end jobs not improving ourselves and not knowing why every day is a struggle. We are lost, frustrated, and defeated. We lash out at the people we love the most, not because of what they did, but because we are running on empty.
Making money for the family is not a purpose or gift, that is a commitment.
If your purpose or gift in life is to make a bunch of money really fast it might happen if you are lucky. However, you will not be doing what you are doing for a long time. It will catch up to you.
The good news is!
You already know your true purpose. Now it is time to discover it!
In a broad sense, your purpose is why you exist on earth.
Do certain things come easy for you? Have you been wanting to do something, but never have made the brave decision to start? When you work on something do you feel genuine joy deep inside your soul? WHY??
Once you find out the “why”, you can determine “what” you can do to feed your passion(s) or gift(s).
So, where do you start? It seems confusing & overwhelming at first.
I have an easy process laid out below that will help you start thinking of your purpose or gift to share with others. Some of you may find it in this project right away; some may take a week, a month, or years of searching to really find their purpose or gift. All are perfect! The key here is to keep improving and keep moving forward. You don’t have to always have the answers.
So let’s dive into this purpose-finding activity!
First things first
You will need a few supplies and almost zero distractions to make it worthwhile for you.
Remember you are your biggest asset and your time is valuable.
Gather some supplies, find your happy place, last but not least turn that phone in airplane mode!
Supplies
I am borderline obsessed with pens. I have hundreds of different types, colors, tips. Seriously my family likes to tease me that I am a walking Office Max!
Call me crazy, but there is something important in finding the perfect pen or pencil. It adds joy to your overall day and whatever you are working on.
Definitely find your favorite pen or pencil. It can be any color ink, any type, just find one that works and doesn’t frustrate or annoy you. For inspiration, here are some of my favorites!
A pen or pencil that keeps breaking or stops writing is going to not going to make you feel good. Frankly, it is going to frustrate you. It is a distraction that can be avoided. Simply put, just avoid the situation and pick up your favorite writing tool!
Next, you are going to need something to write in that you can keep coming back to. Notebooks dedicated to improving you are definitely the way to go. I personally have a notebook for my blog, work, personal improvement, and a household one. Recently I found a great 5 tab cute notebook in the office supply section of Target. Homegoods and TJMax are also great options to find cute notebooks!
Finding the perfect notebook doesn’t seem like a big deal, but it really is!
Be sure to find a journal or a notebook where you are excited to pick it up and you will continue to be excited when you reference it. I also like to use tabs to keep myself organized since I am jumping between many different topics a day. Tabs help me organize my crazy work and life schedule. I linked some tabs below that work well along with a fun notebook!
Creative Space
Now that you have your supplies it’s time to find a quiet creative space. This is super important for being in a positive open mental state.
What is a creative space? This is a space where your distractions are almost entirely eliminated and there is nothing to pull you away. This space could be a bookstore, a coffee shop, the park, your living room when your family or roommates are away, pretty much any space that you feel good being in.
Find a space that makes you happy and you feel the most inspired!
Be sure to shy away from places that might make you irritated or anxious.
Listen to Your Favorite Music
By now you have probably picked up that this activity is all about getting into the right mindset! It really is important so that you can get the most out of it.
For some of us, music can help boost inspiration, excitement, and happiness. If you are one of those people who gets more done and pushes yourself more while listening to music, then put the headphones on girl, and make magic happen! Find or create a playlist where you enjoy every song. It should be fun and something that makes you smile.
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Seriously, for the sake of the people around you, make sure to be wearing headphones 🙂
If you are not necessarily a music lover, totally fine! You are the expert of your own life, and know what is best. Trust yourself.
You are now ready for Business!
I have split this activity up into 2 parts. The first is discovering within you the why. You will be asking yourself a lot of open-ended questions so be sure to have your supplies ready to go. The second part is working to craft a game plan on what to do next.
Part 1: The Why
Part 1 will focus on searching, discovering, and information gathering for finding your purpose. It is finding the reason why you are doing what you are doing. The reason why you have made the choices you have made up until today.
Discovering why you do what you do is getting to the root, it is getting to what drives you, what makes you who you are, what your values are.
Kari Kohal
Start asking yourself WHY?
As children, we were constantly asking questions. We were actually encouraged to ask questions. As adults, it almost seems we have been trained that if we ask a lot of questions we can come off as ill-informed, or even worse, dumb. It is a vicious cycle of trying to impress others all the while sacrificing your own personal growth, hopes, and dreams. Remember you are your own person and that is what makes the world beautiful!
Genuine questions are fueled by curiosity. How else will we grow and create amazing connections with people if we are not curious? So, let’s start by being curious about ourselves.
You can learn something new from every single person you see. Be curious. Open your mind to something new. That is what makes life so exciting.
In this activity, there are 10 questions to start asking yourself. You can take as much time as you need to answer them, but please please please do not think of what others & society would want you to answer it as. This activity is not for them. It is for you! And an essential building block to a more joyful and successful life.
Start with writing down the questions below in your journal. I linked the Lilly Pulitzer notebook below. next to the questions if you aren’t excited about the notebook you have you. This one is seriously amazing.
Give yourself space and time to think about them, but be sure to write down what comes to mind first. There are no right or wrong answers and no one has to see it unless you want to share. Do not rush yourself and remember finding your purpose is for YOU and no one else.
This is a non-judgment and non-societal-driven activity.
Start with these 10 simple questions. If you are still struggling to find some clarity, please please please reach out to me by DM’ing me on Instagram or Email me. It is totally okay if you are struggling, this is a really tough activity.
- What do you like to do for fun?
- What makes you smile?
- What gets you excited?
- If you were not afraid of failing, what would you do?
- What gets you up in the morning?
- What keeps you going?
- What would you do if money wasn’t an issue?
- What are your hobbies?
- What was your favorite subject in school?
- What does your vision of success look like?
Once you have answered the above questions, see if there is a commonality between them. If you answer multiple questions with the same answer that could be your purpose or gift to share.
In your journal, now answer the question of why. Why did you answer the above questions the way you did? Why do you think there are commonalities? You can write down the why for each individual question, or in general.
Do not move to part 2 until you have finished this step. It is crucial to finding your purpose or gift.
Part 2: The What
Now that you have narrowed down more about yourself and why you feel this way, we can work on what to do with your purpose or gift to fulfill you. Part 2 of this activity is focusing on what to do with the information you have gathered above. What are you going to do with it so that your time is not wasted?
As a child, adults would always ask us, what do we want to be when we grow up? It is so fascinating how many people still remember when they would say. We were so excited to tell everyone and could hardly wait to grow up! We reach adulthood and most of us lose that excitement. We didn’t become what we wanted to be and we also are not excited about our current careers. Something is lost. There is a disconnect inside of us. Which generally comes from being out of touch with our purpose or gift to give the world.
When we live each day working with our purpose and things that excite us the sun shines a bit brighter, it is easier to practice gratitude, we are kinder to others, and we feel a deep level of joy we have never felt before.
So, let’s think back to when we were a child. What did you want to be when you grew up? Write it in your journal. Are you feeling happy or excited thinking about it? Why is that? What is exciting, what is making you happy about it? Write it all down. Are you feeling sad or defeated when thinking back to what you wanted to be? Why is that? Write it down, describe it. What can you do to overcome the sadness in this situation?
Looking at your answers and your feelings about what you wanted to be when you grew up, we can start thinking of careers and industries that would fulfill those answers and feelings. You can do this for all of the questions. If you are struggling to answer a certain question without the influences of others and society take time to pause. Give yourself space and a reset. Maybe you need to wait until a sunny day or the morning time when you have your cup of coffee. Listen to yourself.
Now it is time in the activity to really dive into your creative mindset as you start to envision and brainstorm.
Envision and Brainstorm
Start by envisioning the ideal work setting that will bring you inspiration, excitement, and sustained energy. Write it all down in your journal so you can reference it later. Then describe the characteristics of the ideal coworkers. I would encourage you to go as far as describing the characteristics of what the ideal leader looks like.
Remember your answer to number 7?? That answer is key. A lot of us will kill our hopes and dreams because we are worried about taking financial risks. Which is completely understandable. It’s okay to not take crazy financial risks. The risk manager in me says don’t do it. But she also says that calculated risks are essential to improving your career. Is there a way that you can still follow your answer to number 7 without taking extreme financial risks? Hint: the answer is yes. Follow that question a little more.
Now jot down in your notebook your dream job. Is it similar to your answers? Could you still work your dream job and align it with your answers? Good! We are all very adaptable if we allow it.
Craft a quick game plan that can get you to that dream job. Here are some questions to help you craft a quick game plan. What kind of education do you need, where do you need to live, what experience do you need to have to be in that position?
Once you have narrowed down what job and industry sound the best and is achievable for you, run with it! Add to your game plan things such as a plan for setbacks, what to do when you feel like giving up, how you will push yourself out of your comfort zone, etc. Plan for the worst, hope for the best!
Here is an example of how this activity could work:
A commonality in the answers for Part 1 is sports and helping people. As a child, you remember your Dad watching sports on the weekend with you sitting on his lap. It made you feel safe, comfortable, and excited to be there. Answering sports and helping people are commonalities, it brings you back to a happy time in your life. If money weren’t an issue you would start off in an entry-level position in the sports industry.
You wanted to be a sports anchor when you grew up interviewing NFL players. Thinking about it today puts a smile on your face. Your ideal work environment would be fast-paced, fun, surrounded by hard workers and the ideal leader would equally be part of the day-to-day grind. You could be a sports recruiter, sports blogger, sports consultant, athletic specialty insurance broker. or better yet a sports anchor!
Out of these options being a sports anchor sounds fun, you instantly feel a newfound motivation to start. You now have something to work towards! Make that full game plan, hit the ground running, never look back, and don’t ever stop pushing yourself! You will be amazed at how much you can do in a short period of time.
Finding your purpose or gift can be an extremely daunting task and could discourage many of us faster than even starting. Don’t let this be you. If you seem to discourage a possibility before you even start it, there is a great book called Taming Your Gremlin. I linked it below. Definitely read this before starting anything new.
We all have little Gremlins that are within us to keep us safe. What usually happens is they help us find our comfort zone, then we build a massive brick wall, and the Gremlin makes you feel safe within those walls. The minute you feel the desire to do something new or make a big change your Gremlin will be there pulling you back reminding you why you built your security wall in the first place.
But remember, you already have what it takes. I believe in you and your ability. I promise you, you will be so proud just to begin something you have been putting off because of fear!
Start small, stay motivated, be kind to yourself (great things take time), hold yourself accountable, celebrate accomplishments, and make it happen.
I will always be here to cheer you on! Reach out anytime through DM or email!
You control your life, you control your destiny, and most of all you are your biggest asset.
We truly live in a world full of opportunities, you owe it to yourself not to waste it. Will it be easy, no, will it be worth it, yes.
With Love,
Kari Kohal
